


teacher knows best

by centaur, witchofspaz



Series: bad decisions [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Minor Jade Harley/Dave Strider, Past Relationship(s), Switching, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unrelated Striders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:54:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27871141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centaur/pseuds/centaur, https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchofspaz/pseuds/witchofspaz
Summary: In which Dave discovers that his 18-year-old boyfriend's first time bottoming was less than ideal, and makes it his personal quest to correct that particular travesty.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Dirk Strider, Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider/Dirk Strider
Series: bad decisions [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/951099
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	teacher knows best

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday boys !!

“Hey, Dirk.”

Dave nudges his sock-covered toes against Dirk’s hands where they are busily pecking away at his phone. The screen is carefully turned away from Dave, so it’s just out of view. “Hey.” He manages to elicit a grunt as he continues poking, but Dirk’s eyes stay locked on his phone screen. “Hey, Dirk, rub my feet.” The TV drones on in the background, playing some trashy reality show neither of them is really paying attention to.

“Dirk, hey Dirk. Hey.”

Dirk glances up from his phone. Finally. “What?”

“Rub my feet. I’ve been on ‘em all day, working hard, shaping impressionable young minds. Like yours.” Dave’s only been home for about 15 minutes, and aside from kicking off his shoes when he walked in the door, hasn’t changed out of his work clothes, but Dirk is more comfortably attired in jeans and a t-shirt. They’ve settled into something of a routine on weekends (which start on Friday afternoons, at Dirk’s insistence, since Dave won’t let him come over on school nights), but on this particular Friday, Dave had to work late, so he lent Dirk a key to let himself in and get settled until Dave could join him. Loosening his tie and pulling it over his head, Dave tosses it over the back of the couch and waggles his eyebrows, pushing his foot into Dirk’s chest. “Please,” he tacks on insincerely.

Dirk rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he acquiesces in a long-suffering tone, and sets his phone down to peel Dave’s sock off. His thumb digs into the arch and Dave groans, letting his head drop back onto the arm of the couch. Opening one eye, he sees the corner of Dirk’s mouth tic up slightly as he sets to work massaging Dave’s sole with strong fingers. All those crazy teen hormones must be contagious, because he can feel heat starting to gather in the pit of his stomach and in his groin—but seconds later, Dirk’s phone buzzes again and he drops Dave’s foot to pick it up. The heat dissipates, and Dave can feel the tension that was leeching out of Dirk’s body start to rise again.

“Dude, what the fuck.” Dave pushes at Dirk’s thigh with his abandoned foot. Without taking his eyes off his phone, Dirk mutters a terse apology and resumes rubbing Dave’s foot one-handed.

Huh. It’s not usually this hard to get his attention—escaping it is generally what he struggles with. “Dirk?” Again, he doesn’t respond—not even a twitch. “Are you okay? Who are you texting?”

“I’m fine.” He’s distracted, too slow pulling his gaze away when Dave pushes up onto his elbows in an ungracefully jerky movement to express his disapproval. “It’s Jake,” is his sheepish response as he finally maintains eye contact long enough to be hit with the full force of Dave’s teacherly raised brows. “I’m sorry. Let me reply and then I promise I’ll get back to not being a shit boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Jealousy isn’t quite the right word for what Dave is experiencing, but it’s something akin—maybe a second cousin several times removed. He’s keenly aware that a relationship with Jake would in some ways be much easier and more fulfilling than what Dave can offer right now, and in moments like this, when Dirk is so absorbed in whatever drama is happening with his ex, Dave can’t help but wonder if Dirk was more invested in his summer fling than he let on.

None of that is Dirk’s problem. Dave swallows it down and waits for Dirk to put down his phone, which he does with finality in his body language.

“So…” Dave says awkwardly, as Dirk returns his attention to Dave’s tired feet. “How’s Jake?” He’ll just let Dirk decide how much he’s comfortable divulging. If he clams up, Dave won’t push it.

Dirk’s fingers do not stutter for even a moment this time, fully and quietly focused on massaging the tension out of Dave’s feet, pursuing it with a gusto that feels like an apology and recompense in one. But it takes him so long to respond that Dave starts to think that maybe he didn’t actually hear the question. Working along Dave’s calf with firm squeezes, he finally says, “Jake is fine.” A pause, one shoulder lifts dismissively. “Or, I guess, he’s absolutely pissed at me, but that happens all the time.” The other shoulder joins the first.

“Does it?” Dave cocks his head, considering Dirk’s shuttered expression. “What did you do this time?”

One of Dirk’s eyebrows creeps up. “Damn, Dave. What makes you so sure it was my fault?”

Dave snorts. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

“No, but unfortunately I’m self-aware enough to know what you would say, so.” Dirk heaves a beleaguered sigh. “He’s upset that I have been encouraging him to apply to colleges in the States. Apparently I am being overbearing about it. I think I might have insulted him by suggesting he would be happier _not_ spending the rest of his life alone on an island with his already tenuous grasp on reality about to be entirely severed by doing nothing but watching movies constantly.”

“And you used those words.”

A wavy hand gesture before going back to kneading along Dave’s ankle. “Close enough.”

“Can’t believe he didn’t take that well.” Dave gives Dirk a look of exasperated fondness. “Did you fight like this when you were going out?”

Dirk returns Dave’s look with one of mild surprise and doubt, like he doesn’t think Dave actually wants to know the answer. “We’ve fought like this since we met,” he says, but after a moment his eyes narrow thoughtfully. “Maybe less when we were going out, but that was likely because there were more activities to… distract from the conflict.”

Okay, _that_ does kind of seem like something Dave didn’t want to know. He tries to keep that off his face, since he asked. “Didn’t you say, um…” Why is he still asking about it shut up Dave. “You said something like the sex wasn’t as good as you would have liked…?” Oh God. Maybe that didn’t sound as hopeful as he thinks it did?

It probably isn’t a good sign when Dirk stops rubbing his feet. There is a hint of amusement around the corners of his mouth when he responds. “I did say something like that, yeah.”

“Still distracting, though, I guess.” Holy shit, stop talking.

“Yes,” says Dirk unhelpfully, a hint of teeth peeking through his quirked lips.

Dave purses his lips. “You are such an unbelievable fuckin’ tool.”

“Yeah, and you are the least subtle person in the goddamn world. Why don’t you actually ask me the questions that are clearly on your mind, Dave? I’m happy to answer them.”

“‘Cause I’m not sure I actually wanna know the answers…” Dave trails off. His face is so hot. He mashes a hand onto it. “Sorry. I’m acting like a choice idiot.” Suddenly, Dirk seems too far away for Dave’s delicate feelings to bear.

Dirk turns on the couch and gives Dave a knowing look before grasping his ankles and dragging him by his legs (causing him to yelp in an undignified manner) until they are resting fully over his lap. He drums his fingers on Dave’s thighs, draped over his lap like a blanket. “You’re fine,” he says with surprising gentleness. “I just don’t want to tell you the juicy deets if they are genuinely going to upset you.”

“And you also like to fuck with me,” Dave points out, wrestling into a semi-upright position on his elbows. 

“And I also like to fuck with you,” Dirk replies, putting intentional stress on certain words to layer the meaning. Openly fond as he looks at Dave’s face, he adds, “The same could not be said for Jake.”

Dave makes a face. “That bad?” Dirk helps him sit up and he settles himself on his boyfriend’s lap. He leans his forehead on a broad shoulder and Dirk’s hand rests comfortably on his waist.

“It was…” The pause he takes is too long, and Dave squirms impatiently. “Fine. Some of it I enjoyed.”

“And the rest…?”

“Was a valuable learning experience in figuring out what I do _not_ like.”

“Okay.” For all that Dirk claimed he’d be happy to answer, this is a little like pulling teeth. “Which is?”

Dirk makes something like a huffing sound, as if frustrated Dave called his bluff and has landed on a question he doesn’t actually want to answer. 

“I feel like that’s actually valuable and relevant info for me to have, kid,” Dave points out. “Since we are actively boning.”

“And I feel like it might actually not have ever come up, based on how I know you are.” From Dirk’s tone, it definitely feels like shade was just thrown, but Dave is still in the dark. “But you’re probably right. So.” He spreads his hands out in a placating gesture. “I don’t like bottoming.”

Dave lifts his head so he can see Dirk’s face better. “You don’t like bottoming,” he repeats slowly.

“No. I don’t get anything out of it. I mean, I guess I get the _satisfaction of pleasing my partner_ or whatever, but I personally can’t get off on that particular feeling in that… context.” Dirk seems very sure of himself, but he squints a little, like he’s thinking about it anyway. 

“I’m sorry you had a bad experience, baby.” Dave smooths a tender hand over his hair. “Just out of curiosity, though… you never tried it with anyone besides Jake?”

The squint gets more pronounced, almost like a wince. “I didn’t have any interest in trying it again after Jake.”

“Very fair.” Dave rubs Dirk’s chest vaguely comfortingly. “I can understand that. Am I correctly assuming that Jake was a virgin before you?” 

“We were both virgins.” Dirk shoots Dave a glance before correcting himself. “Obviously not counting all of the dick sucking.”

“Of course not,” Dave concedes. He looks thoughtful, considering his next move. “I don’t usually let guys fuck me if they’ve never done it before. It’s skilled labor, so to speak.”

“I figured. Hence the dick sucking.” 

“Girls are a whole other story,” Dave continues, as if Dirk said nothing at all. “They tend to be better at it right off the bat on account of they know what it’s like to take a dick.”

Dirk snorts. “Are you lecturing me on bottoming right now? I didn’t mean to sign up for this class.”

“Didn’t you?” Dave says smoothly, chucking Dirk under the chin. “I’m making a point is what I’m doing. That point being that I think you may’ve drawn a faulty conclusion ‘cause your sample size is too small. Science,” he concludes sagely.

“It was pretty big, comparatively.” Dirk holds his hands out at a generous distance apart from each other.

That remark was clearly meant to throw Dave off his game, but he’s been at this longer than Dirk has. That he thought such a weak volley could derail Dave’s mission is just evidence of his youth and inexperience. Dave is a grown ass adult fully capable of saving his fit of insecurity over Jake’s supposedly impressive dong for later. Besides, it’s not like it matters how big it was since he evidently doesn’t know how to use it.

“Sure, and unless your name is Aaron Carter, you don’t try to beat Shaq at basketball when you’re only 14. Are you just making my points for me now? ‘Cause great job, if so. You've clearly learned a lot already. Gold star.”

“Someone has to keep you on track, professor. Otherwise we will never make it through the whole syllabus before the end of the class.” Dirk rolls his eyes playfully, then adds, “And as stated, I am happy to make them, I’m just not into taking them.”

“Uh huh,” Dave says, drawing the tip of a finger flirtatiously down the center of Dirk’s chest, and feels him suppress a shiver.

“Could you go back to that bit about girls being good at fucking you? I think I missed something while taking notes.”

Dave grins triumphantly. The bait has been swallowed, and Dirk is on the hook. “Sure, I love it when my students take initiative. Whaddya wanna know, exactly?”

“Can you cite sources on that assertion?”

“Personal experience,” Dave responds with deliberate vagueness.

Dirk looks at Dave like he knows that Dave knows that he knows what all of this coy bullshit is about. But he plays along. “Elaborate, please.”

“Well,” Dave goes on, pseudo-thoughtfully, “just for example, who did you think took my ass virginity, dude?” He raises a finger. “I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t Karkat.”

Nodding as if long-held suspicions were just confirmed, Dirk says, “Interesting.”

“Jade is dynamite in the sack, by the way,” Dave adds helpfully. “Or at least, she was in high school. Can’t speak for more recent periods, personally, but I assume her mad skills haven’t declined.”

Dirk looks like he’s torn between his natural inclination toward jealousy and his deeply horny interest in the concept of Dave’s teen asshole getting pummeled by a strap-on. Before he can say anything, Dave continues.

“I think it’s interesting how my positive first experience led me to be more open minded in general about trying out new shit in the sex department.”

“Yeah, pretty fascinating how much you love getting fucked in the ass. Maybe I’ll understand better if you describe that positive first experience.”

“Well, if you think so.” Dave resettles himself on Dirk’s lap, knees to either side of his hips. “She had to talk me into it; you know how it is. Yeah, of course you do,” he concludes definitively. “Teenage boys are idiots. Don’t know what’s good for ‘em.”

“Point not conceded, but continue.”

“Fair enough. I was already kinda…” He makes a wavy hand gesture in the air, similar to the one Dirk made earlier, but with a different meaning. “I kinda knew something was up. With me. And like, dicks. I guess on some level it seemed like a good, safe test run, so it wasn’t actually that hard for her to convince me. Plus, y’know, she was always ‘in charge’,” he punctuates with air quotes, “so it wasn’t actually much of a change in terms of sexual dynamics and whatnot.”

Dirk hums in acknowledgement, idly untucking Dave’s shirt from the waistband of his pants. His fingers brush against bare skin along the small of Dave’s back.

“I guess in the end I realized my objections were more reflexive than anything. Like playacting, almost. Just sayin’ what I felt like I was s’posed to.” He sees a burgeoning response in Dirk’s eyes and heads it off. “Don’t worry, I know that’s not what you’re doing, babe, but we’ll talk about that.”

“We’ll see whether I’m interested in that conversation after we finish this one,” Dirk says, flat but fond, and a little wider in the pupils as his palms bump up the length of Dave’s spine. 

“Sure,” Dave says, smoothing Dirk’s shirt over his shoulders. “So Jade had a credit card and a less than vigilant guardian.” He raises his eyebrows meaningfully.

Dirk mirrors his expression. “Sounds like a recipe for a good time.”

“Indubitably.” Dirk’s hands on him are making him all tingly. “I was sixteen. This wasn’t long before we started going out with Karkat, if I’m rememberin’ right.” He pretends to be getting comfortable so he has an excuse to put some friction on Dirk’s groin. Though he maintains a bland mask of polite interest and engagement, Dirk’s eyelashes flutter slightly as Dave wiggles. “Her grandpa was off on one of his absurd expeditions so we had her big stupid house to ourselves. Gave us time to really get it right.”

“Were you nervous?”

“Ummmmm, yeah.” Dave laughs. “Weren’t you? I knew I could trust her, though. She always had my back, with… with everything.”

“Had you ever tried anything on your own, before that?” Dirk’s eyes are glowing with interest as he smooths his palms down Dave’s back and flirts with groping his ass.

“Nope. Too weird. She’d, um,” Dave flushes, like his teenage reticence is coming alive inside him. “She’d put fingers… in me, before? During?”

“Did you like that?”

“Yeees…”

“Tell me about it.”

“Nah. Anyway, she had this whole setup with candles and shit. She was really excited about it, said she wanted to romance me properly.” He smiles fondly. “I made her put most of ‘em out ‘cause I was afraid we’d knock ‘em over.”

“How romantic,” Dirk laughs and shakes his head. “I feel like first time anal sex is probably pretty low on the list of causal events for house fires. You could have become a fun statistic instead of a wet blanket.”

Dave flicks him in the shoulder. “I just didn’t want her to panic while her dick was in my ass, man. Does that sound fun to you?”

“Fair point. Hey, speaking of her dick, how big are we talking?” Dirk is no longer flirting with groping Dave’s ass. He has taken groping Dave’s ass back to the club bathroom and he is fucking it against the flimsy partition of the handicapped stall.

“Probably smaller than you’re hoping, buddy.” Dave indicates with his hands. “About like this? It was my first time, you dig? She was going easy on me. We picked it out together, actually. That was part of the deal we made when she convinced me to do it.”

“Makes sense.” Dirk’s hands slide from Dave’s ass to stroke down his thighs, making Dave wish his pants were off already so he could feel the touch against bare skin. They slide back up to cup his ass again and Dirk tugs Dave’s hips into his, making him gasp a little. He’s got a semi already, easily detectable now on account of its truly stupid size.

“Exactly,” Dave says, a little breathily.

“So at what point did you become a size queen?”

“Excuse you.” Dave shoves Dirk’s shoulder playfully. “Just ‘cause you got a king size crotch bazooka and I happen to be fuckin’ you don’t make me a size queen. I believe all cocks are beautiful.”

“ACAB,” Dirk agrees, leaning back into Dave’s space, kissing his cheek. “But you like mine the best, right?”

“Jeez, needy,” Dave gripes, but he still turns his head to catch Dirk’s lips in a soft kiss.

“It’s a simple yes or no answer, Dave,” Dirk persists playfully between kisses.

“You mean you don’t expect my response in the form of an essay? Or epic poetry, maybe?” Dave leans away to declaim, “An Ode to Dirk Lalonde’s Monster Cock…”

“I’ll accept either a fully produced rap or a tasteful nude figure painting.”

“Hmm, we can talk about that second one,” Dave muses, kissing the base of Dirk’s neck softly. “Sounds kinda hot. But I think we’re getting off topic.” He grazes his teeth over the thick muscle that joins Dirk’s neck to his shoulder and feels him twitch. “Unless you _don’t_ wanna hear about how my high school girlfriend tenderly ushered me and my virgin pucker into the godly realms of prostate ecstasy.”

“I don’t see why we can’t talk about both. They seem to be leading us to the same conclusion.” The sentence is punctuated by a particularly noticeable nudge of Dirk’s hips under Dave, a very sloppy play at pretending that he is just shifting Dave’s weight on him.

“That’s only true if you assume we’re working toward all the same goals, yo,” Dave corrects with a wicked smile. “So she’s got me in her room with like, maybe five candles lit still, all at least three or four feet away from the bed, and I start takin’ off my pants and she’s like Dave no, I have to do it for you or it’s not romantic enough. So I’m like fine fine and then she pushes me onto the bed all like a barbarian lord about to deflower his child bride, and I’m like what the fuck, Jade, is _that_ romantic? And she’s like yes, Dave, of course it is. And she’s the boss, right, so I’m like okay, if you say so. And she’s like, I do say so, and then she took off my pants.”

“You remember it so vividly.” Dirk drops a soft kiss on Dave’s lips. “I feel like I’m there.”

Dave makes an encouraging sound, and Dirk catches his lower lip between his teeth, tugging gently. Dave pushes back aggressively, cupping the back of Dirk’s head where the hair is shorter, soft and springy under his fingers instead of stiffened by product. Dirk pulls Dave’s hips harder into his, grinding their dicks together, and Dave moans and pulls back with a wet pop as their lips part.

“What was I saying?”

Dirk bumps his lips against Dave’s jaw, not giving up the closeness or contact. “Your pants are off,” he mumbles, his own hands starting to make the motions to match his words.

“No, they’re not,” Dave says distractedly. He looks down at Dirk’s hands. “But I see you’re working on that. Cool. Hey, kiss me.” He takes Dirk’s chin in his hand and redirects the path of his mouth back to his own. They remain distracted in that manner for several minutes before Dirk pipes up again.

“You keep derailing this story, Dave. It’s almost like you don’t want to finish this lecture,” he says. “Tryin’ to keep me past the end of class?”

Oh, right. “Nice try, motherfucker, you’ve actually had a conversation with me before, right? I’m constitutionally incapable of staying on topic. I derail everything. It’s my trademark conversational style. Utterly fuckin’ meaningless.” His fly appears to be fully open now, but he refuses to be distracted. Any more than he already has. “So my pants were off. And my shirt. She left my skivvies ‘cause she liked to tease. We made out for a while and then she told me to wait like a good boy and when she came back she had the thing. The, you know…” He makes a mostly meaningless hand gesture, staring down at Dirk’s hands lingering near his exposed briefs.

“The dildo?” Dirk laughs, but makes no move to redirect Dave’s attention.

“Strap-on, yeah.” Dave waves his hand dismissively. It wasn’t that big, but under the circumstances it was kind of intimidating to see it in person, you feel me?”

“I can, if you want,” Dirk purrs, running a thumb along the waistband of Dave's briefs.

“Shut up, Dirk, I’m telling a story.” Wait, no. “Wait. Yes. Do that.”

“Shut up? Or feel you?”

“Both.” Dave grabs Dirk’s hand and puts it on his cotton-shielded dick where it’s bulging out of his fly. “Soooo…” Dave sighs softly as Dirk massages his dick. “So we got her naked and then I helped her put it on. Fuck, she looked so good in it.” This is objectively true, but he’s mostly saying it to get a rise out of Dirk. Which he does, in multiple meanings, and Dirk immediately tries to squeeze the attention back towards himself, slipping a thumb along the outline of his leaking, sensitive slit.

Dave exhales heavily and braces himself on Dirk’s shoulders. “Ah, so… she laid me back on the bed and pulled down my boxers.” Dirk hums inquisitively as he blah blah “Uh… and she had me spread my legs.”

“I can picture it.”

“Of course you can, you’re an imaginative kid. Ah, fuck.” Dirk coaxes Dave closer with a hand at the small of his back. “So I’m… so I’m naked, and she’s naked except for the thing, the harness, and she starts touching me.” Dirk leans in to mouth at Dave’s neck. “Like on my dick, and my thighs and stuff. To get me hot, you know, like I wasn’t already. God, I was so hard.” Dirk slowly opens the first few buttons of his shirt to bare more skin to his lips.

“Like this?” Dirk asks softly, lightly rubbing his palm into the sizeable wet spot on his briefs. His hand skates along Dave’s abdomen and runs along his inner thighs.

“Ummm, yeah. Only nakeder.”

“Hmm.” Another button, and another. Dirk sucks a hickey onto his collarbone and Dave’s breath stutters.

“So she’s got me all worked up and then she picks up the lube and asks me if I’m ready.”

“Were you?”

“ _Fuck_ yes.”

“Keep going,” Dirk nudges, with his tongue against Dave’s clavicle.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m trying to paint a picture here, but for some reason my brain ain’t workin’ at full capacity just now.” Despite his sass, his hand is at the back of Dirk’s neck, urging him on. “At this point it’s still business as usual, pretty much. Well maybe not usual yet, but nothin’ we never done before. She got me slicked up and her fingers slicked up and she put one in me. God are you planning to _actually_ touch my dick sometime this century just wondering.”

“Is this still part of your subbing lesson?” A finger hooks into Dave’s waistband, tugging until it snaps back against his skin. Dave lets out a soft “hah”. “‘How to Receive a Handy 101.’”

Dave clicks his tongue reprovingly. “Subbing isn’t the same as bottoming, Dirk. I hate to break this to you, but you’ve definitely subbed before, and liked it.” He stabs a finger into the center of Dirk’s chest. “I know because I was fucking there. And yes, that _is_ part of your _bottoming_ lesson.”

“I just have a thing for being schooled,” Dirk murmurs, unfazed by the accusatory finger against his sternum. He tugs the waistband out again, but this time draws it down over the hard length of Dave’s cock, exposing it to direct touches from his hand as it wraps around the shaft and strokes along his foreskin.

“Not exactly blowin’ my mind with that info, but at least you know yourself,” Dave huffs. Now that he’s got what he wanted, he continues story time. “See, it’s not exactly comfortable just at first, ‘specially if you’re not that experienced, like I was. Doesn’t feel bad if the person attached to the fingers knows what the fuck they’re doin’.” He pauses to give Dirk a meaningful look. “Just weird. But if you just give it a minute, invest a little motherfucking patience, it starts to get…” As Dave is talking, Dirk has been slowly drawing his foreskin down, completely exposing the sensitive head of his cock to the air. Dave pauses to stare down at it, looking dazed. “To get… really good.”

Dirk makes a rumbly but agreeable noise in his chest, hand not on Dave’s cock trailing to his neck, lifting his chin to pull his gaze back before kissing him deeply. That’s good, that’s cool. Dave wraps his arms around Dirk’s neck with enthusiasm, pushing his dick into Dirk’s hand as he leans into the kiss. He has to pull away to gasp as Dirk’s palm grazes over his glans, but Dirk jerks him right back into it, hand on the back of his neck, barely giving him space to breathe. He’s flushed and almost whining when Dirk finally gentles, easing off to nibble at his lower lip.

“Uh…” Dirk is slowly pumping him, drawing his foreskin over the head of his dick and down again, over and over, just enough stimulation to make it hard to think. “Should I keep going?”

“Obviously.” The supercilious amusement in Dirk’s expression almost draws Dave out of the haze of pleasure enough to want to smack him. It also kind of makes his dick harder. “Unless class is dismissed?”

“Absolutely not, it’s a double lecture today. And the teacher wants to see you after class.” He leans in and presses his lips just under Dirks jaw, liking the light scrape of stubble against his lips. “That means don’t fucking stop touching me, in case you didn’t pick up on those subtle cues.”

“The thought never crossed my mind, Dave. I’m determined to keep my 4.0.”

“That’s why you’re my favorite student. So—” He breaks off again, making a sound that’s half moan and half thoughtful hum. “I genuinely cannot remember where I was at in my letter to _Penthouse_. Remind me, was my cherry popped yet?”

“I believe you were attempting to make a convincing argument that having someone else’s fingers in your ass can feel good.” His fingers dance down the length of Dave’s dick and curl meaningfully under his balls. “You hadn’t gotten to the popping.”

“Right—ah, fuck—and you were pretending not to be convinced by it.”

“I doubt Penthouse cares about those details. Let’s get to the money shot.”

“Okay, pay attention ‘cause this shit is gonna be on the final. She put her dick in my ass and it felt good, ‘cause she wasn’t a hapless if well-meaning teenage boy with a below-average IQ and an inability to read basic social cues.” 

Dirk chokes on a huffing sound, a little too raw to be entirely a laugh. Jealousy-kink having shithead. “That’s pretty harsh, Dave,” he replies reasonably, and a little thickly. “Think you could have done better?” 

“Doesn’t sound like a very high bar to clear. How little do you think of me, motherfucker? Of course I could have. I still can.” Dave smiles, and there’s a little evil in it. “You want I should call Karkat for a reference?”

A series of emotions pass over Dirk’s face: surprise, interest, and suspicion threaded with an obvious internal debate about whether or not to ask a question his mouth doesn’t form. Dave kisses his disgruntled moue.

“I like how I can wax rhapsodic at great and detailed length about how Jade tenderly deflowered my asshole and you’re egging me on, but I mention Karkat once and your brain implodes.”

“Of those two specific people that have been inside you and vice versa, one of them is easier to compare myself to directly,” Dirk says by way of explanation.

“A foolish man might wonder why you need to compare yourself to any of my exes, what with how I’m dating you right now and not a single one of them, but as luck would have it, I’ve known you for longer than five minutes, so I know better to argue with your insistence on melodrama.”

“I’d say that’s good because I never date fools, but discussing that part of my past is how we ended up here,” Dirk snorts, then adds after a substantial pause, “Also, I guess I am surprised that you would tell him that you are trying to fuck me.” 

“I wasn’t actually planning on it, since I like my eardrums in their current unpunctured state. And it’s none of his business. Just wanted to fuck with you a little.” He looks down at his lap, where Dirk’s hand has stopped moving, and clears his throat meaningfully. 

Transmission received loud and clear, Dirk picks up the slack, though there is still something slightly distracted in both his rhythm and the way his eyebrows have furrowed. Dave tries to smooth them out with a finger. 

“Everything cool?” He puts his other hand over Dirk’s to still its movements while he waits for an answer.

“Does Karkat know?”

Oh. Dave is starting to regret bringing his ex into this conversation. There’s a fine line between prodding at Dirk’s jealousy to fire up his libido and just making him feel like shit. “No,” he admits with a sizeable twinge of guilt.

Dirk looks entirely unperturbed and unsurprised by that answer. He regards Dave quietly for a moment, then says flatly, “That would be some fuckin’ way to break it to him. ‘Hey bro,’” Dirk mimics, sounding a little more nasal than Dave thinks his voice actually is. “‘Sup? Cool, yeah nothing much here, just tryin’ to get my dick wet, but my new boyfriend could use a trustworthy review of my fuck-abilites to convince him. He’s totally legal, by the way. Only a lil’ bit one of my students.’” 

Dave snorts, relief unfurling in his chest. Dirk’s insecurity has been easing as he realizes Dave isn’t going anywhere. “I don’t see how I could go wrong with an opener as solid as that.”

“Right. It is flawless, like all of your plans,” Dirk deadpans. His eyes flick down to their hands briefly, then back to Dave’s face. “Speaking of, how are you going to convince me, if I can’t talk to your reference?”

“With my sweet moves, obviously.” Dave’s tone suggests that Dirk should have been able to deduce this for himself, which he should have. He firms his grip on Dirk’s hand, moving it on his dick, and continues a little breathily, “And my many years of teaching experience. I know how to convince unruly children to do what’s good for them and whatnot.”

“I’m not a child, Dave,” Dirk snorts, brushing away Dave’s hand impatiently. His focus intensifies and he begins working Dave with all of the precision of someone who has memorized every single motion that has ever gotten him a positive reaction. “And so far your ‘sweet moves’ seem to just be letting me make you come.”

“I’m letting you get my boner out of the way so I can concentrate on my moves,” Dave corrects. “Fuck, if you keep doing that you’re gonna be witnessing my moves in like a couple minutes, tops.”

“This?” Dirk moves his fingers just so, pulling an undignified noise from Dave’s throat. He nods, panting, and clutches Dirk’s shoulders. “Alright then, Teach,” Dirk purrs through smiling teeth, eyes (and hand) on the prize. “I hope I get an A.” Finding a suitably clever retort is suddenly extremely difficult as there seems to be less and less blood available for the use of Dave’s brain. Whatever, he’s happy to let Dirk get the last word for now, if it makes him feel better, and especially if he gets to come. He leans his forehead on Dirk’s shoulder and whines as Dirk, who has developed a borderline-creepily accurate sense for Dave’s oncoming orgasms, squeezes the base of his cock with viciously perfect timing.

“Brat,” Dave manages as his dick throbs angrily in Dirk’s grip. “ _Fuck_. Please?”

Dirk seems amiable enough to his pleading, flipping easily back to wringing out Dave’s climax with an air of smug satisfaction. “If you want to keep up the bit about moves, I feel like this would be an appropriate moment for me to suggest that you, you know. Bust one.”

“Oh my god shut the _fuck_ up and just make me come.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Strider,” Dirk smirks, and twists his wrist the way he knows Dave likes, making Dave choke and his spine arch as his orgasm rips through him.

Dirk lets Dave lie flushed and panting against his chest for a few moments before he feels a hand sink into the hair at the back of his head and pull. Following its lead, he sits up and is confronted with Dirk’s jizz soaked hand.

“You made a mess all over my hand, Dave. Aren’t you going to help me clean it up?” Blissed out and pliable, Dave opens his mouth automatically, and Dirk slides one long finger onto his waiting tongue. “That’s right,” Dirk says, low and encouraging, his clean hand still gripping the back of Dave’s head, but gently. Holding Dirk’s heavy-lidded, smoldering gaze, Dave takes each finger in turn into his mouth, sucking them clean, then moves onto the palm with slow, deliberate licks.

Dirk murmurs his approval and Dave’s tongue flicks the tip of his thumb as he pinches Dave’s bottom lip and tugs. “Good boy.”

“I’m twelve years older than you,” Dave points out, without much conviction. The deep flush on his cheeks in response to Dirk’s praise doesn’t help his credibility much. Safe to say he’s lost his hold on the reins of this situation.

“Uh huh,” Dirk drawls. “And is that going to stop me from telling you what to do?”

Dave blinks slowly, feeling the color creep down his face onto his neck. “No.”

Dirk pushes his thumb into Dave’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue. “Is it going to stop you from doing what I tell you to do?”

“Mnaaah,” Dave starts, and Dirk withdraws his thumb to let Dave speak. “No,” he admits, squirming.

“I didn’t think so. Keep your lip to yourself and suck my cock, then.” The hand in Dave’s hair spreads flat across his skull and presses down, in case the verbal order wasn’t enough inducement. Dave is happy to go, and slides down to kneel on the floor between Dirk’s knees. Eager fingers tug his fly open, and Dirk lets out a sigh of relief as his dick springs free. Normally, Dave would tease, make him wait a little to train that youthful impatience out of him, but Dave wants him relaxed and inclined to listen, so he goes for quick and dirty instead. He swallows down Dirk’s cock like a 12-time champion at a hotdog eating contest, relishing the choked noises he ekes from Dirk’s throat. The strong fingers in his hair, stinging and pulling at his scalp, make his own spent dick twitch between his legs. It doesn’t take long; within minutes he feels the tell-tale tensing of Dirk’s thighs under his palms. Dirk grips his skull with both hands, holding it still on his cock as he comes, forcing him to take the bitter rush of fluid.

Breathing heavily, Dave eases off Dirk’s softening dick. He leans his face against a hard, denim-clad thigh and looks up at Dirk through fluttering eyelashes. Dirk’s fingers are still in his hair, but their grip has loosened, caressing instead of controlling, and his eyes are heavy-lidded and content as they take in Dave’s swollen, still sticky lips. He licks them slowly for show, just to see Dirk in too much of a state to resist reacting to something so intentionally cliché. Dirk doesn’t even make an attempt at eye-rolling, his expression instead becoming soft and heartachingly fond, a little smile peeking through as he bites his lower lip.

“That was fun,” Dave drawls, and enjoys the subtle puffing of Dirk’s chest before he continues. “You feel better now you’ve proved what a big bad top you are?”

“You were the one blowing things,” Dirk breathes, wit a little sluggish from dopamine. “I do feel better though.”

“That pun suggests things about my performance that I neither appreciate or believe, dog.” Dave carefully tucks Dirk back into his pants and underwear before climbing, not quite gracefully, back into his lap. Pressing a soft kiss under the edge of Dirk’s jaw, he murmurs, “Better is good, though.” A pause, another kiss, this time closer to Dirk’s ear. “More receptive, maybe?”

Dirk’s lip curls up almost sleepily and a soft, comfortable sound slips off his tongue at each kiss. “I dunno about _receptive_ just yet _._ But willing to discuss it as a possibility, sure.”

“Sweet,” he says with satisfaction, taking that inch and running a marathon with it. “I am gonna get _all_ up in that nearly virgin butthole.” Dirk snorts, and Dave leans back so he can see his eyes, his expression shifting in a more serious direction. “Look, I know you’re probably just going to tell me to calm my tits for the millionth time, but you know I’d never push you to do anything you really weren’t into, right?” 

“Dave.” 

“Don’t ‘Dave’ me. You can’t seriously tell me you expected me to stop constantly worrying that I’m taking advantage of your youthful innocence just because I finally let you hit this.” He gets another snort for that choice of words, though it isn’t quite as absurd as Dirk believes it is. “But I’m gonna take that as an answer in the affirmative, and continue trying to slide up on your choice ass.”

With a truly teenaged eye roll, Dirk leans against the couch, arms splayed out over the back. “Alright, come at me.”

Dave rewards him with a filthy grin, sliding up on his lap so their hips are flush against each other. “I just think,” he says slowly, “as an adult partially responsible for your care and whatnot—” he drops another kiss just under Dirk’s jaw, then pauses and lingers, applying his tongue and listening to Dirk’s breathing change “—that it would be only _responsible_ of me to give you, oh, I dunno, a corrective experience, let’s say. Also, it would be hot. Don’t you think? Since you’re so _into being schooled_.” He deepens his voice as he slides into the end of that sentence, imitating Dirk’s flat tone.

“You finally gonna put me in sexy detention?”

“Have I not yet? Shit, I better get on that, stat.”

“I was under the impression that your goal here was to have _me_ get on it, but I’m happy to switch.”

“Are you? That’s not the story you've been selling me so far.” 

Dirk snorts, trying to wrestle the smile forming on his lips into a more contained expression. But Dave still feels like he won.

**Author's Note:**

> betcha thought we died motherfuckers
> 
> well WE AIN'T


End file.
